it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
