D3 body, D1 cock
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Enjoy the penises
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
