Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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