She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
