She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
