I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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