I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
