For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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