when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
