shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
