it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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