Your tits are I can't wait for
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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