i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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