You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize