I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he shaved USA in his pubs
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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