ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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