this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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