everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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