fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
