Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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