don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
