My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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