She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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