So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
