I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
All the doctor said was why
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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