I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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