I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
