Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
