Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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