I just cut my nipple shaving
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
