i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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