I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
