The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize