Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
