The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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