i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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