Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
