I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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