That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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