We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
