I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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