he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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