their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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