I just saw a hot homeless man
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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