Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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