Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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