You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day â¤ï¸
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
