the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
