Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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