Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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