dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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