So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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