i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
