and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
