I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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