Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
