I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just googled if crying burns calories
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
