There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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