lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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