Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
