im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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