Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We need to rekindle our bromance
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
