I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm like, not good at living.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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