I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
