uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
