im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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