Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
