doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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