i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
