oh god the rape fog is back!
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
