shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
